Contentment

100 Days of Creativity Challenge – Week 5

Contentment

Until this morning, I had thought I’d write about obsessions for today’s blog.

Every morning this week I’ve woken up ridiculously early, sometimes before 5am, with my head full of thoughts and ideas for my Phoenix. Once these thoughts begin, there’s no turning them off, no chance of returning to the land of nod.

I’ve not minded at all. Not one bit.

It’s as though my brain has decided, right come on then, you’ve slept long enough, let’s go play!

So I do.

And I love it.

I’ve become obsessed with my Phoenix project. Thoughts about it invade my every waking hour and my sleep.

I’ve often thought of obsessions in the past in a negative way, something to be frowned on. And that society views obsessions as being unhealthy.

My Phoenix is proving to me how wrong this view can be. 

Obsessions can definitely be a good thing.

For example, we admire great musicians, world record beating athletes, scientists who discover amazing things and people like Sir David Attenborough, who’s life has been dedicated to raising people’s awareness about the miraculous life on earth. I could list thousands of other examples. None of them could have ever achieved anything impressive or made their outstanding contributions, without their passion and obsession for their subject.

I’ve no idea where my own particular obsessive journey is leading me, only that I’m happy. This morning I’ve woken with an immense sense of contentment.

I can’t recall the last time I felt this way. It occurres to me that this feeling has been building over time.

Often when people talk about happiness, they think about the things they’d like to own, the places they want to go and experience.

Well, I don’t have the house of my dreams, my poor car is limping through it’s last stages of life, it’s cold and murky outside and I don’t have loads of money, just enough to get by on. I don’t go on fancy holidays or buy lots of lovely clothes and shoes.

I do however, have a wonderful husband, a loving family and a small circle of the most amazing and special friends. I walk constantly in the fresh air with my gorgeous little black cockapoo Maisy, meeting lots of people along the way. I feel more a part of my local community than I ever have in my life and I work in a very special place, a place that brings enjoyment and happy faces. I am very lucky.

And of course I create. Every day.

I love how this 100 day project is pushing me, pushing at my creative boundaries, encouraging me to learn new skills and to use everything I’ve already learned in different ways.

And I love that I’m able to share my creative journey of self-discovery with you. I love creating my happy place that puts and smaller on my face and hopefully on yours too.

Yes, I am a very, very content person 😊

This weeks progress on my Phoenix:

Day/ hour 29 I finished embroidering lots of tiny gold feathers over his face.

Day/ hour 30 I turned my attention to his tail. From now on I’ll need to work my way up his body from tail to head. So I covered his curly tail feathers in a midnight blue crushed velvet. I’ve no idea why, but the colour seemed fitting in some way.

On Day/ hour 31, I finished covering his curly tail feathers.

Day/ hour 32 I became aware that I was delaying the inevitable. Somehow I needed to decide exactly how I was going to add plumage to my Phoenix. With renewed determination, I created a felt tail base, drew up a rough design and set to work on creating his first tail feathers.

On Day/ hour 33, I lost my way somewhat. My workspace became a slightly crazy, chaotic mess, as I dithered over colours, fabrics and methodology. I cut up lots of fabric, turned a candle on it, then a heat gun. I even used a soldering iron, frantically searching and experimenting, trying to work out which direction to go in next. I forgot to trust my inner creative child and became rather anxious.

Day/ hour 34 I woke up horribly early but with a clear vision in my head. So I got up and just got on with it before my argumentative brain had a chance to convince me otherwise. I made and attached his first six tail feathers.

And yesterday, Day/ hour 35, I had a lot of fun getting into full production mode, creating feathers in my favourite colour turquoise. I still don’t know how I’m going to create a sense and feeling of fire with his colour scheme, but I’m attempting to put my trust in my creative gut instincts and let go of my anxieties.

It’s as though my Phoenix is telling me what he wants and needs himself. He is a magical bird after all!

The Phoenix is often considered to be a symbol of rebirth and I’m noting that my own Phoenix is becoming life-transforming in so many ways. I would have never believed that squeezing his creation into my already busy life, would result in me bursting with energy and enthusiasm. The Phoenix is also a sign of eternal life force, so long may this feeling of contentment and period of creativity continue!

The Phoenix is fast becoming the perfect metaphor for my life right now 😊

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