The Miracle of Dreams

100 Days of Creativity Challenge – Week 4

The Miracle of Dreams

This has been a strange week of deep philosophical thought and breaking through mental barriers that I didn’t know existed. It’s left me pondering on the miracle of human thought and most especially, of the dreams that motivate and drive us.

This week I found myself being reminded that we humans are made up of billions of moving atoms of energy, all behaving in a certain way, to create the allusion of a solid form that we call a body. And that our every thought, action and emotion is the result of these atoms causing a whole host of chemical reactions.

What fascinates me, is what we each choose to do with ourselves and the life we’ve been given. What this mass of atoms and chemical reactions we call a brain, is capable of, is astounding. I might moan about my body, but at the end of the day it is mine. I use my brain to make conscious choices about what to do with it every minute of the waking day. And of course much of the time I’m making unconscious choices too.

It’s these unconscious choices, the rules and principles that we are raised believing to be true, that I am currently challenging. My 100 day creative challenge is forcing me to confront emotional and creative barriers that I didn’t even know existed. I’m confronting my self limiting beliefs.

We each of us have a deep set of personal values, principles that we live by, that were drummed into us from birth. These are the rules that govern our daily lives. I find myself asking what chemical reaction is going on in my own brain that brings me to believe these things to be true? Can I change them? The answer is yes. If its a belief that’s been learned, then it can be unlearned.

For me personally, it’s what I choose to do with this bunch of atoms I call my brain, whilst my conscious mind exists to control them, that’s important. So I’m now challenging myself on a daily basis to keep driving forward with this project that has become so important to me. I’m learning to change and to overcome my doubts and the inner voice that would once have stopped me from marching forward.

Which leads me to ponder why?

Why is it that we each have a deep inner gut-instinct, that if we let it and are able to overcome the mental obstacles that stand in our way, drives us to do the most extraordinary things? I constantly puzzle over my desperate inner need to create and make real, the fantasy world that exists in my head in order to share with others.  Why is it that I long to capture the special feeling that my private world generates in me, more succinctly and in a way that others might begin to comprehend? And love.

I am unable to answer what drives me. Only that I’m driven.

My Phoenix project and future dreams for Concordia’s World currently invade virtually every moment of my day. Even whilst sleeping, I find myself constantly puzzling and finding options for creating the plumage of my Phoenix. Or how the lessons I’m learning can be tweaked and adapted to suit other projects I have dreamed about.

Oh and talking of dreams, I alluded to a special event in last weeks blog. I am so very excited. My darling husband has bought me an early Christmas present. I’m to attend a three day workshop towards the end of October. Three whole days of learning the textile sculpture techniques used by the talented Bryony Jennings, to create a large animal. (You can see some of her beautiful creations here: http://www.prettyscruffy.com/portfolio )

I know I’m part way there and that given sufficient time, I would learn for myself the techniques she uses, or develop my own way of doing things. However, I am forever impatient to want to create the dragons and other creatures from Concordia’s World that occupy my thoughts and dreams, now. Right now. And I’m hopeful that this three day workshop will help me to get one step closer to achieving that dream.

This is turning out to be quite an adventure that I’ve embarked on isn’t it?

So what progress have I made this week?

Day/ hour 22 – I once more returned to experimenting with possible feather construction methods.

Day/ hour 23 – I sketched some possible pattern designs for his feathers, trying to work out the transition area between his head and neck. Having concluded that he may well be a Huma bird, I became quite obsessed with the idea of giving him a slightly Turkish or Moroccan style. As a result I spent far too long searching for inspiration rather than simply getting on with it.

So on day/ hour 24, I began trying to create the embroidered plumage on his head and face. It wasn’t until I flipped him over to be able to embroider the underside of his neck, that I realised it looked a mess. A different view point quite literally, show me it was going wrong and that I had made a mistake. I try hard not to view mistakes in a negative way though, because it’s only through experimentation and trying out different methods that we learn.

Day/ hour 25 – I unpicked the previous days work and began again. This time I tried out several different ideas on a small piece of the gold fabric in an embroidery hoop first. Preparation, as they say, is everything.

Day/hour 26 – Having created a methodology and colouring that I liked, I began creating a series of tiny embroidered feathers over the left hand side of his face. His wired armature and solid clay beak mad this incredibly awkward, but I was determined to use my chosen embroidery method.

Day/ hour 27 – I realised that I was struggling to see my embroidery work properly so I began using my daylight magnifying glass. I love this piece of equipment so much. It’s be far one of the best investments I’ve made.

With most of the left hand side of his face completed, on day/ hour 28, I turned my attention to the right hand side of his face. Once again this was a learning curve, as I needed to work counter intuitively, from left to right. There are definitely times when I’m grateful for my dyslexic tendencies, as without my brain functioning in its strange way, I’m sure I wouldn’t be as ambidextrous as I am.

Do you have any self limiting beliefs?

Are you doing anything to confront them? If so, I’d love to know.

Until next week lovely follower.

Mary-Ann x

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